i want to apologize to all the women i have called beautiful
before i’ve called them intelligent or brave
i am sorry i made it sound as though
something as simple as what you’re born with
is all you have to be proud of
when you have broken mountains with your wit
from now on i will say things like
you are resilient, or you are extraordinary
not because i don’t think you’re beautiful
but because i need you to know
you are more than that
Date a girl who reads but not someone who has strong opinions she must be educated but you must be smarter than she is, sleep with whomever you want but bring only the virgin home to mom, make sure she’s funny wild wacky but not too energetic not too loud, give her a dark side but only one that’s easily cured she’s got to love video games but you have to be better at them make sure she’s a writer make sure at least once you break a poet’s heart, it makes you immortal when she spills your history onto pages filled with her pain - be sure to call her insane to your friends, shake your head, wonder aloud what the fuck is wrong with her for loving someone, for loving you, drag her name through the mud just because she was stupid enough to believe everything you told her - make sure she has good fashion sense and tasteful makeup but isn’t obsessed with it just so you can show her off to your friends but at the same time be sure she’s still attractive in sweats measure her waist with your fingers to ensure she is skinny but only naturally so, don’t you know bones are for dogs but too many curves and she’s not good at all, feel free to make fun of her salads and yogurts and granola, disregard the idea that she’s doing this all for you and she wants to sit around and eat cake instead of impress you, make sure she has some kind of cause but never one that shouts too loud, a girl who likes art a girl who likes math a girl who likes anything just as long as it isn’t too much that’s just annoying, a girl who likes to cook and will take “get back in the kitchen” as a joke, who likes to clean but doesn’t mind your mess, who is calm but passionate but exercises good judgement but is willing to take a risk who wants kids but only when you suggest them who is practical but believes in magic who is gentle but fucks hard who is pious unless you are in private who bends her knees for god but also to suck your dick who responds to your every touch like she is made thoughtless by it but still has some kind of mysteriousness who is obedient but independent loving but hard to get caring but not clingy talented but willing to give up her passions for you - but no, don’t worry about who you are or how you act. She’ll change to please you. You don’t have to be a good husband, she will believe she has to be perfect no matter what happens. The only flaws she is allowed are tiny ones. Girls need to be capable, honest, needing. Who cares if a girl like this doesn’t exist. We’ll convince them all to read our requirements and make themselves fit.
Don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women. That’s not a compliment, it’s a competition none of us agreed to.
The problem with cultural appropriation is that it replaces the original with a copy created by the dominant culture. It dilutes the original, removes all symbolic value from it and replaces it with a ready to consume product devoid of context and meaning. Cultural appropriation, at its most extreme, is a violent form of colonization because it removes the original group behind the culture and reinforces stereotypes about that group (i.e. ALL First Nation folks are reduced to “war bonnets”, whether their culture uses them or not; all Latin@s are reduced to a stylized version of Catholicism regardless of their spirituality; etc.). The mechanism of commodifying a culture ends up being a tool to re-inforce [sic] racism as it reduces the people behind those cultures to a mere cartoon like representation of their realities. It’s a great way to ultimately Other and objectify entire groups of people by taking something that is dynamic and ever evolving and freezing it for a marketing photo opportunity.
Nếu bạn yêu ai đó, và đã làm mọi cách mà người đó vẫn không cảm nhận được thì…hãy dẹp đi. Bạn không thể yêu một đứa ngu như vậy được.
Does your boyfriend or brother spend a lot of money on skin and hair care products? Does your dad spend much time at the hairdresser or beautician?
In your city’s daily paper do most of the political news items feature women? Are most of the stories in the business section written by and about women? Is there a special ‘Men’s Section’ filled with celebrity gossip, fashion and beauty tips?
When you watch a big sporting event on TV, are the athletes usually women? When you watch female sporting teams are there hot guys in tiny outfits cheering for them on the sidelines?
Do girls you know talk openly about getting off while watching porn? Do they boast about their sexual conquests?
When you’re at the food court, do your female friends happily gobble down a large burger and fries combo while your male friends pick at a salad and sip diet coke?
Do the majority of the fathers you know spend most of their time at home washing, cleaning, cooking and taking care of their kids? Do you often hear mothers refer to looking after their own kids as ‘babysitting’? Have you heard women talk about earning brownie points for cleaning their own house and washing their own clothes? Are you sick of men going on about how hard it is to balance work and parenthood?
Are your male friends afraid to walk on their own at night? Do they avoid drinking too much in case they get raped? Do they dress to protect themselves from attack and always carry their keys poking through their knuckles? When they complain about all this do your female friends shrug and tell them that’s just how the world is?
If the answer to all of these questions was yes, wouldn’t that mean something was wrong? Is that still true if the genders are reversed? Does it matter?